Ooooo, I gotta chime in on this, Eliza.. Fantastic set of words there!.. Especially the part about our bodies doing what they have to do to return to balance – i.e. “the healing crisis”.. I’ve got a personal empirical perspective on this.. And yes, in typical fashion, here comes one of my treatises.. And I do really need to go into detail for any of this to make sense.. “Sharing is caring”.. Lol..
Last year (over a year ago) I did a hardcore 2-month Chlorine Dioxide (MMS) protocol.. I can’t say anything definitively specific came out of that (i.e. “I experienced a healing”), but what did happen is that it initiated a full-body detoxification, with “rashes” and pustules and itching all over my body, clearly pushing things out that shouldn’t be there.. And it has continued to this day..
Well, shortly after stopping MMS, I developed a rash on my spinal column, as well as a couple of abdominal herniations, along with the ongoing itching and skin pushing things out.. The rash on the back continued to grow and eventually developed large purple spots, oozed fluid sometimes, and it was diagnosed as cancer (which is what I thought it was as well).. I don’t know how allopathy views “cancer” specifically, and don’t care.. I do know it’s wrong – that’s a given as a matter of principle.. Allopathy is an inversion and oftentimes blatant lies..
To address the “cancer”, I adopted Urine Therapy (including fermented urine) and dropped some bombs on the situation (at the time still not being clear on what “cancer” is, or not having my own honed point-of-view about it).. The “cancer” cleared out in short order, except for a small bit of lingering rash on the spine, almost imperceptible.. In all of this, the cancer’s locality on the spine exacerbated some long-term neurological shit I’ve been dealing with for more than 3 years, including numbing and severe pinching nerve pain in my hands (and other places), as well as the reactivation of an old hand injury I’d overcome nearly 20 years ago, where my hands completely lock-up.. Not to mention post-concussion syndrome from a concussion nearly 2 years ago, which has led me through periods of utter confusion and disorientation and blah blah..
To address the herniations in the abdomen, I started seeing an Applied Kinesiologist (thanks to Dr. Barre’s recommendation), who is a brilliantly tuned-in facilitator that doesn’t just do physical work (also a chiropractor), but has been instrumental in helping me find doors and opening them for core emotional-trauma purging.. I really don’t have words for how this has unfolded.. I think it escapes words..
In this, the rash on my spine came back with a vengeance.. I have since come to view “cancer” as, broadly speaking, the body’s process of detoxification and setting things right.. And I’ve proven this out.. All of the profound emotional-trauma purging I’ve done over the past few months coincides with physical detoxification.. And it has been a ride, which again, I don’t have words for.. And it’s easy, through our programming, to view it in the negative – (e.g. “this horrible thing is happening” and “symptoms are bad”, and “I have a rash”, etc.).. But I always embrace that it’s the shit I need to go through to return to balance and health.. Symptoms are indicators, I’ve now come to realize – a wholly different way to look at it, that dispels victimhood..
With the rash on the spine getting going again, and all things considered, I adopted some new protocols, which have been experimental, intuitive, and I always observe what’s going on, and adjust or pull-back or take a break where necessary.. I’m back on Urine Therapy, and I started using Turpentine as well.. I drink that combo throughout the day, usually amped with a couple drops of DMSO.. And oof, sometimes that’s some intensity as it gets in where it needs to go.. But no worries, I’m hardy and know that the “oof” is just what I need to go through, and I’m well tolerant of it now.. I drop bombs.. Lol.. 😜
I also bathe in that combination, and I also do (not everyday) a topical application of Castor oil combined with DMSO, and shoot, I started adding Turpentine to that as well.. Why the hell not?.. This topical application and massage over key areas of the skin has helped “pull things out” of my body.. Wherever I apply it, I’ve developed “rashes” and pustules, with my body pushing shit out.. And I’ve been diligent to massage this into the herniations and the liver area, as well as the neck.. I’ve had hardcore rashing and itching on the neck since using MMS, and the Castor+DMSO has been pulling a bunch of stuff out, in the form of big bumpy pustules (mirroring the experience Amandha Vollmer had with it, which is what inspired me to use it).. Keeping in mind I’ve long been diagnosed with “low-thyroid” – so something’s going on in that area of the neck..
These internal and external applications and all the emotional I’ve been doing have led to somewhere, and I’ve got the “evidence” now I can point to.. And I mostly dislike that cause-and-effect “prove it” mentality though.. It has its place, but still reductionist and 2-dimensional..
So the Kinesiologist, in our last 2 sessions, picked up on something as he was going over and reading my body and the flow of energy through the channels and chakras, muscle testing, blah blah.. He said that “there’s something here involving your mother when you were 25 years of age”.. Very specific, right??.. And I knew what that was, broadly speaking, as it ties into how I’ve forgiven my mother for “all the shit she did”, because I now understand it, where it came from, and I embrace it and forgive it with compassion.. Not surprising the AK “found” this in my field, as it’s something I’ve been meditating on quite a bit and processing out.. But, there was much much more to it that I’d yet to discover..
So, in this process, or unfolding, I was laying in bed one night (just about 5 nights ago), and my contemplations just naturally spontaneously went into that realm regarding my mother, as obviously I had much more to explore.. And I was able, finally, to bore down to the core of her pain and her trauma and frustrations, and the torment she lived with, and how it relates to me, and how we hurt each other, and how I rejected her and the “love of the mother”, and even hated her hardcore, when that’s the opposite of what I ever wanted and longed for.. I tapped into something I never knew about, nor ever even began to feel, and I was able to let go and surrender to and embrace and ride a profound emotional release and healing that lasted through the night.. Which also involved a new, doubled-down, commitment to myself and my life’s mission and my heart being a channel for spreading the glory of our mothers into the realm in which we live, and living with pure compassion, being a force of nurturance, and wanting to understand and have an open heart more than anything.. Yeah, see, that was some big big shit that went down over here, y’all.. I opened a portal.. 💫
The next morning I felt reborn and reinvigorated and measurably healed and felt alive like never before.. The pain and numbing in my hands vastly improved overnight.. My mind was coherent, and I was fortified, especially in my recent resolve to only engage in what I truly want to do and manifest, and live with intention and nothing else.. No more bullshit, but a commitment to my mission.. The rash on the spine started to clear up in an accelerated way, and just today, the rash is about 90% diminished compared to just 3 days ago.. And for several days, I’ve not done very much, if any, topical applications of my protocols.. Just riding it out and feeling into when I need it..
So I would say this: don’t try to tell me this shit ain’t real!!.. Lol.. 🦕
And then I’ve been thinking – how does the GNM framework view all of this??.. Overall, I got lots of “symptoms” (i.e. indicators), from nerve damage, to this shit growing into my spine, herniations, etc. etc.. It’s a big “list” for sure, built up over the decades.. And I’m wondering if you could deduce it “in reverse”.. Instead of looking at a symptom/indicator and finding the core trauma/conflict, how about looking at the emotions and nature of the conflict/trauma and seeing what that “would lead to” in terms of disease/disorder/physical maladies.. and determining if there’s correlation in my own life.. Just a viewpoint or approach I’ve been contemplating.. In some ways it seems or feels like the disorders manifest in my physical form are way more nebulous than my memories of trauma, which in some cases are vivid and clear..
Multiple ways to frame it, perhaps, but for me, I feel like a foundation stone is in fact that I eventually came to “reject the love of the mother”, which was in fact born out of her withholding love & affection & understanding & nurturance to me, and then me reacting in a cynical and sabotaging way.. Can’t say reductionism works here either, as this is not a 2-dimensional 2-way street of cause-and-effect.. It’s vastly multi-faceted, and in a strong way feels like an oscillating toroidal field (seriously).. But I’ve clearly reached a core understanding that I’d never even glimpsed before.. If I take responsibility for myself, and I do, how do my rejections of love “compare” to the inflictions of pain put upon me??.. I reject victimhood anymore.. And aren’t they all just aspects of the same thing??
And as I said, the proof is tangible, almost immediately.. One of the things I’ve fully embraced is the principle that all disease and suffering begins in the psyche.. In all of this, clearly, my psyche experienced a big release and letting-go.. It literally feels like a tightly-wrapped barbed wire was released from my psyche 5 nights ago, and thus my physical body released burdens as well.. So it’s no longer an idea for me – it’s something I’ve experienced and watched unfold in short order..
Thanks for reading if you got through this.. “Sharing is caring”.. 🐓
Thanks Erin for sharing this ( @EY29 ).. I’ll be printing it out and diving in.. I too was recently longing to find a good GNM resource I could use..
🐦
maryschurr.
Sascha.
